Children need discipline… Start when they’re young

**Isaiah and I when he was six months, now three years old**

FYI - This article is based on MY experience and observation. If it doesn't apply, let it fly. Some children may face other challenges such a chemical imbalance that may exclude them from what I'm writing about. Also, all children aren't the same and should be dealt with accordingly. So please read at your discretion…. My mother and sister had some heart to heart talks with me recently. I felt their words pierce my soul. At first, I put a block up because I hate being told what to do. I know I needed to hear it, though, especially since it comes from a good place. Simply put, my son requires discipline. I love my son very much. He and I have been through a hell of a journey. For those who do not follow me on social media, here's a quick back story.....

While I was pregnant, my son was diagnosed with a heart defect (HLHS). He had to have life-saving surgery a week after birth. We had to go through two different hospital stays that lasted almost three months. The beeping of the machines and wailing alarms were a regular but unwanted acquaintance. When he was finally able to come home, life came at me fast. He was turning three months soon. I was homeless at the time, so I needed to go back to work. I was lucky enough to have a few weeks to bond some more.

For a long time, I suffered from the visions of my baby lying in the hospital beds with all those tubes connected to him. The years flew by fast. It was playtime every day. Now he's three, walking, talking in complete sentences, having temper tantrums, and strong-willed. I'm sure the trait is intensified due to having two equalling strong personalities for parents. Although his father is in his life, I'm a single parent since we are not together.

I remember watching tv shows about misbehaving kids thinking," I wish my child would." It was easy to judge the parents. They had no control over their children. All that shit I used to pop at the tv screen years ago was crap. Almost a week ago, my little handsome son was getting over on me because he knew he could. He had figured out there were no consequences for anything wrong he did so he kept doing it. If I would discipline him, I didn't keep it up, so he wasn't learning anything. Children are smarter than they appear. Yes, they rely on us for the basics because they have to however their brains develop fast. They learn quickly especially when it comes to getting their way. I've learned that temper tantrums aren't taught - it's a natural defense mechanism that will worsen the more it's allowed to go on. I'm not saying that children aren't allowed to express themselves; however, they should be taught how to do so respectfully. The talks with my mother and sister made me face a hard fact. If I don't put my foot down now, the very little control I have now will be non-existent. I will be the parent out in public embarrassed because my child is talking back to me and falling out having temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I started asking him to repeat what I told him to do to make sure he was comprehending. Sure enough, he'd repeat precisely what I said.

Guilt - it's what has kept me from adequately disciplining my son. I still blame myself for his heart condition. Although I no longer see him and see a fragile baby, he's still the baby I didn't get a chance to enjoy. Physically I was raising him, but mentally I was clocked out. If it weren't for the plethora of videos I have saved on my phone, I probably wouldn't remember most of our memories. It took me a few years to finally realize I went through a traumatic experience. After the talks with my mother and sister, I woke up. It was like a switch went off. Now I see my son for the smart, adorable boy he is now. He isn't helpless or fragile. Despite his condition, he's a healthy child. Now when he gets unruly, he's put in time out (standing in the corner). I've also begun to take away certain privileges he enjoys, like his favorite tv shows and toys. I don't want to hit my son, but a tap on the hand with a ruler won't kill him. I grew up in an era of spankings. Different strokes for different folks. He's responding well to the new changes. I'm sure I've shocked him, but a change was needed. We modern parents have to find our way of handling our children; however, the discipline required. If we don't start while they're young, they'll be harder to raise as they get older. I have a vision of a son who will one day be a leader in his own right, respectful to authority, himself, and fellow peers.

IG: Evonalove25